Slut skills are useful in every country.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
