drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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