WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
