God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
People in love make me want to vomit
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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