Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
