I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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