Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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