i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
