You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
