that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
