He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just high enough for therapy.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
