then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
