All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
