I'm pants shitting drunk right now
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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