normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
