We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
