We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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