i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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