I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The beer is more important than you right now.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
