We won't sleep together?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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