So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
