Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize