Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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