..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We left the knife in your bed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
