What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
