Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
