I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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