I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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