HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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