I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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