If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
