I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
