Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did I show you my penis last night?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
