id be glad to
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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