Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
