Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
