3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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