she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
