the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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