Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
