when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
