Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
