My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
