Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
