I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
