i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
