I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
