My hand turned me down
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
