with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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