I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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