everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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