i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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