this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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