I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
