i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
