so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
