Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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