Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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