I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
