why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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