Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
