I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize