she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
