But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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