let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
