This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
