On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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