Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
