My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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