: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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