Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
