OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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