I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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