dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
