If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize